Open a Can

I’m not an overly violent person, how can I be I’m a pretty skinny guy.  So skinny my nickname of Beanz comes from a modified version of Beanpole…a nickname given to me by my brother.  For some reason I decided if my brother was going to call me this for the rest of my life, I might as well make it cool…and to me in the early 90s adding a z to Bean seemed like the coolest option.  Urban dictionary thank you for ruining that for me.

Anyways in my daily life and online life…I mention the jump kick a lot.  So why not take this time to explain what I mean.  Well I used to get in a few altercations as a kid, but I never intentionally started them.  I have the knack of pushing people to either want to hit me or attempt to hit me with just a few words.  My wife still asks me “why do you have to have an answer for everything” to which I reply “do you want me to answer that”….so I guess you see what I mean.  Anyways I would get into a few altercations and I’ve always known how to defend myself from having a big brother, martial arts, and the occasional crotch kick.  However I found that the root cause of these fights were my temper. Even though I never looked for a fight when my temper took control…it made it impossible for me to step away.  The best advice I got for this was from my instructor who told me to forget about just counting in your head.  Visually jump kick whoever is trying to start a fight with  you while counting in order to keep your big mouth shut.  One ….begin the run, two …bend your knees and leap, three….strike a cool jump kick pose, four….imagine the look of disbelief on the recipients face, five…connect.  During this little routine I always seem to have a smile on my face from the visual part of this exercise, and I’ll be jump kicked it kept my mouth shut in situations afterwards 8 out of 10 times as a kid.  So ok after reading that…maybe it is a little violent.  But if it keeps me out of physical confrontations I can’t complain.  So when you see me mention a jump kick here and there on this blog…plurk….or twitter don’t think of it as violent method of rendering an opponent unconscious.  Think of it as a anger management technique or a form of meditation.  Now I leave you with some funny jump kicks to help you with forming your own visualization.

I am all about others input, and one night I decided to let a friend on plurk pick my next blog entry.  When I heard the topic I said “nice” and then after the typical male response wore off I wondered how the hell was I going to write about it.  I am a man of my word and here is my attempt.   The topic that was picked is none other than “the Brazilian”.  Yes every guys ears just perked and the girls reading are either smiling or reliving some great pain…or not . What is the Brazilian you ask…well ummm courtesy of wikipedia bikini wax (complete with pictures, so definitely not work safe).  On a side note apparently different wax styles have different location based descriptions: the American , French commonly known as the Landing Strip, and the Brazilian….its really a very global affair.  I kid you not there is a whole world of stuff that is apparently going on in these spas.  Yes, if you haven’t noticed by now I had to be a lil drunk to write this. Ok anyways where did this name come from…I mean who decided that they were going to call the removal of all hair from a womans groin the Brazilian.  Why not the chihuahua, hmmm too wrinkly and shaky.  How about the porn star…maybe thats too much.  I can imagine a girl in a salon asking for the “porn star” and getting a waxing, anal bleaching (wished I never saw that Dr. 90210 episode) and a gift basket of some type of lube.  I can’t get with the “Telly Savalas” because I don’t want to think of Kojak or a bald head when thinking about that and I’m guessing a woman wouldn’t want to either..  So the Brazilian does sounds like the best choice, beautiful women, beaches, beautiful women on the beaches….sorry got a little lost there but I’m back. Could a guy ask for a Brazilian or would they refer to it as something else like the Peeled Kiwi or the Processed Nuts?  That last line kind of grossed me out and is probably a good place to stop. What are some of the names that you’ve heard associated with the clearing of a womans landing strip.

This topic brought to you by plurk and Red Stripe
In addition I want wish a Happy Birthday to the suggester of this topic…you know who you are .

Tags: Random